On Balance

Monday, July 3, 2017

We've all heard it before, but this is a reminder, to you and to myself, that life is all about balance.

Saturday I spent the entire day on the couch. I got out of bed only to migrate to the living room and lay down again. My boyfriend was sick, and I used that to justify the fact that I, too, was spending a beautiful summer day indoors doing nothing. I made him food and kept him company. But I know that even if he wasn't sick, I probably still would've ended up in the same place.

At first, it felt like it could qualify as self-care. A lot has been going on lately, I've been exhaustingly emotional, I needed this. I needed some time to just sit. So I did. I ate blueberries and drank coffee and watched the last three episodes of "Orange is the New Black" consecutively. I told myself it'd be a lazy afternoon and I'd go out and do something in the evening.

Then evening rolled around. I put on "Secret Life of Pets" and did some writing. My boyfriend woke up from a nap and we watched YouTube videos and played video games. I watched other people's Instagram stories and Snapchats of all the fun things they were doing, and I felt like a loser, mostly because I didn't actually wish I was outside. I didn't want to move or do anything, but it didn't feel relaxing or cozy, it felt lethargic and sad. I fell asleep at about 11, still on the couch.

Sunday was better.

On Sunday, I was a productive, functioning human again. I got up early, showered, wore my contacts. I made some effort. I did laundry and cleaned up around the apartment. I went outside, ran some errands, stopped by my parents' house. I did things, accomplished things, checked them off my to-do list.


The turnaround time between the two isn't always a day. Sometimes it's a few, or a couple weeks. The tough times are tough, but they will pass.

We're all going to have days where getting off the couch is hard. Where we don't want to brush our hair and when ice cream for dinner is the most appealing option. Where the weight on our shoulders just feels like too much.

We'll also have days where we kick ass. Where we wake up before our alarm, feeling surprisingly well-rested. Where we're so happy it feels like our heart could burst.

Life is a lot of ups and downs. Some of this and some of that. Everything and nothing. Allow yourself to feel your feelings. It's okay. It's all about balance.

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