It's That Time Of Year Again

Sunday, November 4, 2018

I'm writing this on Saturday at 10 p.m. and I have no idea how it's already so late. I feel like I haven't done anything today. And it wasn't one of those days where I was intentional about it either.

There are days I'll purposely make no plans except for sitting on the couch watching Netflix or reading a book. Days where my only plan is to have no plan, the only thing on my to-do list is to do nothing.

That's not what today was. Today, time just got away from me.

This morning I left soon after waking up for a dentist appointment. After that, I came home and pretty much went straight back to bed, curtains closed, to finish "The Haunting of Hill House." We watched an episode and a half (I fell asleep halfway through an episode the night before and had to finish it, of course!), which doesn't sound like a lot but that's nearly two hours right there.

Then I worked on removing my no-chip nail polish (a whole process), read for a while, did an hour of yoga, did two loads of laundry, and suddenly it was 9 p.m. How does this happen?

I don't really understand why people complain about time going too slow. Isn't that what we want? It's better to have too much time than not enough, right? The alternative is time going by so fast that it slips through our fingers before we can even get a good grasp on it. No thanks. I'd rather it move slowly so I can savor the moments.

Today went by fast, though, and it was one of those days that left me feeling... dull.

Even though November has literally only just begun, today felt like my first little hint of the Winter Blues. They're already creeping in.

It's the time of the year where I rarely leave my apartment unless someone asks me to. (Is this what they mean when they say "youth is wasted on the young"?) Tonight the clocks go back an hour too, moving the sunset up to 4:40 p.m. The sky will be dark by the time I leave work at 5 each day.

Somehow two opposites happen simultaneously around this time of year: It's a busy time and somehow also I feel boring.

I think the way it happens is that I have a lot of commitments during these last months of the year, with birthdays and holidays, and so I leave my free time open to decompress. I savor my No Plans days by filling them with Me Time. Nine times out of ten, it's great, but too much of it means I just end up isolating myself.

I feel busy yet idle all at once, going through my cycles of high and low motivation.

It's that time of year, you know?

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