I'm Not Wasting My Twenties

Wednesday, February 3, 2016

Yesterday afternoon, I was scrolling through Twitter when a headline caught my attention: "I'm 26 and I'm OK with Being a 'Granny,' Thanks Very Much." I immediately clicked into the post, my motive being not that I wanted to know why 26-year-old Emma Gannon referred to herself as a "granny," but that I already knew why she did because I sometimes felt the same way.

I have never been much of a party person. I've been to parties – I've played Beer Pong and Flippy Cup with people I had never previously met, the bottoms of my shoes sticking to the floor and music blaring in the background – but I've always preferred to spend my nights out with a group of friends rather than immersed in a crowd of strangers. Parties are fun – they just aren't part of my regular schedule. And most of the time, I'm okay with that, because it's just who I am.

There are times, though, that I wonder if I'm wasting my twenties, or if there is such a thing. I'll see a movie with the classic college party scene and worry that I missed out on something. It's a feeling that can't quite be called regret because I'm still IN my twenties and technically it's not too late. It's more of a pre-regret, a fear of a possible future regret. Will I look back on this time one day and wish that I had done things differently?  Deep down, I know that no, I won't. I'm not "wasting my twenties" because I'm happy, and that's what counts.

I've encountered people who just don't get that. There have been a few times that my weekend plans of "going to the city to visit my friend" were interpreted as some sort of euphemism for getting hammered at bars, when in actuality, I was literally just going to the city to visit my friend. We ate tacos and watched TV. I don't even really like going to bars. (Upon revealing THAT information to somebody, I was told I was "so lame!" which made me want to roll my eyes so hard they probably would have gotten stuck backward.) More often than not, I actually prefer to stay in, sometimes with friends, sometimes alone. Recapping a relaxing weekend with a lot of solo time is often met with a semi-surprised, semi-sympathetic, "Oh, that's nice." I don't need your sympathy – it WAS nice!

The party animal stereotype for 20-somethings is so widely known (and followed) that it can feel like a strong obligation. I'm ~supposed~ to be out being reckless and carefree; I'm ~supposed~ to be kissing boys I'll never see again and making stupid mistakes. But I don't want to do those things, and I wish people would stop making me feel bad about it.

Reading through Emma's post, I immediately thought with relief, I'm not the only one. While it's comforting to relate to others in that way, at that same time, I shouldn't have to feel like I have to justify myself. I shouldn't be looking for signs that what I'm doing is okay, when all I'm doing is playing video games or having a movie night on a Friday, or spending a Saturday running errands and reading.

I might not be like every other 23-year-old, but I'm not wasting my time.

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  1. I loved this- can totally relate


  2. I love this post so much! I feel like my 23 years is going to be the same. I'm 18 right now and I prefer reading a book or blog or make art on weekends than going out and do stuff other teenagers are doing.

    Not Your Type Blog

    1. No shame in that at all – I support it! Glad you liked it :) Thanks so much!

  3. I love this post and can 100% relate. Grannies in their 20s unite!

    Whiskey Jars Blog xx

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  5. Oh my God I so agree. I tried to force myself to be like that, to party and get drunk and go to clubs every weekend. And not only was I skint and super unhealthy, but I was bored and making terrible choices. I'm so glad I've gotten over that fear of missing out and instead focus time on positive friendships and looking after myself. I absolutely love chilling out and reading or watching tv with my fam on a saturday night and I refuse to feel lame because of it.

    1. Thanks for reading – it's nice to hear from others in the same position. :)