March Things

When people ask me what my favorite season is, fall has always been my go-to answer. The trees are pretty, I can start wearing layers, and pumpkin spiced anything is delicious. But I'm realizing now that, as much as I love fall, spring is actually my favorite. The weather is almost identical, except it feels better. Instead of dreading the upcoming winter, I'm looking forward to summer. Instead of trying to squeeze as many outdoor activities in as possible before it's too cold and snowy to do anything, I spend some time outside knowing that soon I'll be able to spend even more. Spring is awesome. I always forget that.

Words To Remember // 02

"You can't expect to draw people into your life who are kind, confident, and generous if you're thinking and acting in cruel, weak, and selfish ways. You must be what it is that you're seeking – that is, you need to put forth what you want to attract."
Wayne Dyer

Stop Saying Sorry

The other day at work, I went to get a cup of coffee. When I walked over, a woman was already there, pouring herself a cup, and when she turned around and saw me waiting off to the side, she apologized. She set the coffee pot down, ducked her head a bit and said "sorry" as she hurried away. 

This minor encounter made me think about how and why we apologize for so many things. We say sorry for things we have no reason to be sorry for – getting a cup of coffee before someone, asking questions, or actually giving a real response when somebody asks "what's up" or "how are you" instead of "not much" or "good." Apologizing is a habit, and it shouldn't be. It should have more meaning than that.

I Need To Talk About 'The Book Thief'

"It was a nation of farmed thoughts."

I finished this book last night and need to talk about it, because it may be the most well-written book I've read.

Markus Zusak's "The Book Thief" tells the story of a young German girl named Liesel living her life during World War II. Liesel steals books, her foster father plays the accordion, her foster mother swears a lot, and her best friend Rudy wants to kiss her. Oh, and it's narrated by Death. It's a story about family, friendship, life and death and the irony in them both, the power of words, the thrill in thievery, and the limits you would go to in order to protect the people you care about.

And it's written wonderfully.

On Forgiveness

"Forgiving isn't something you do for someone else. It's something you do for yourself. It's saying, You're not important enough to have a stranglehold on me. It's saying, You don't get to trap me in the past. I am worthy of a future."
Jodi Picoult | "The Storyteller"

This quote comes from a much deeper place in Picoult's book, a place that makes any of our situations pale in comparison. Nonetheless, the principle still stands. I've been thinking a lot lately about forgiveness. Who we should or shouldn't forgive, why we do or don't do it, when enough is enough. It's important for me to say that this post is not going to be advice. It's not going to be me telling you that forgiving others is always best, because honestly, I'm not sure if I believe that. I don't know if it's always best.

When it comes to little mistakes, yes, forgive. We shouldn't be so defensive that we don't allow anyone around us to ever slip up. As for the bigger things... I don't know. Doesn't forgiving someone for doing something shitty send the message that it's okay? Couldn't it, in a way, provoke them to do whatever it is they did again, instead of prevent it? Is it a free pass? Does forgiving someone for doing something bad translate as you not standing up for yourself?

I don't have the answers to these questions. And I don't think there are any solid answers, because everyone feels differently. It's a battle between mindsets  – not forgiving somebody because they don't deserve it versus forgiving somebody because you deserve it. More often than not, we probably find ourselves stuck somewhere in the middle.

So this post isn't advice. It's me thinking out loud and considering the options, because frankly, forgiveness is hard. Forgiving people is hard. It's hard to forgive those who hurt you. It's hard to excuse someone for taking advantage of the trust you put in them. It's hard, and it's certainly not fair... but should we do it?

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