The Importance Of Asking For Help

Sunday, May 13, 2018

It's been a weird week for me with one key takeaway: It's not only okay to ask for help when you need it, it's important.

That sounds obvious, but it can be easier said than done. Asking for help is hard, at least for me. Admitting that I can't handle whatever it is by myself. Swallowing my pride and allowing another person to step in.

Writing about my problems is one thing. I still feel like I have some control then, some comfort. Confessing to someone that I'm really having a hard time and asking for help is another. Even when I did it, I prefaced it with something along the lines of, "I feel stupid saying this because we've talked about it before and I feel like it just makes me look bad."

She responded, "We're friends. You don't look bad in front of friends."

And that's the comfort I needed. That's what it's all about.

When a close friend of mine is going through a hard time, I want to help. I want to be there for them, I want them to feel better, I want to do whatever I can to remind them that they aren't alone. That's what friends are for. On the other hand, when the roles are reversed, I forget all of that. I'm reluctant to open up for fear of being a burden or nuisance.

Here are things that have happened when I asked for help:

A friend sent me flowers and had them delivered to to my work to cheer me up.

I got a new perspective on the issue, putting it in a different light.

I spent an hour on the phone with a friend, not just talking about my problems but catching up on life in general.

I ended up laughing instead of crying.

I wasn't told I'm being stupid. I wasn't told I'm being annoying. I wasn't brushed off.

I felt less alone. I felt cared for.

I felt better.

Asking for help is hard but it's also a form of self-care. Talking it out is taking care of yourself. Be brave enough to do that when you need it.

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